Super Bowl Sunday Sucks!
Ladies, it's that dreaded time of year again. The Sunday to top all Sundays, the culmination of all those lesser miserable days. Super Bowl weekend has arrived, and if you're anything like me, you already want to leave for an impromptu vacation. Some of you gals may join in the festivities each year, perhaps even watch the weekly games, but football has always been a dark, ominous shadow in my life. This article is for you women who agree that football is just plain maddening.
When I was a young girl who loved horses and princesses, my father was (and still is) obsessed with football. But his obsession went beyond watching the games and cramming junk food into his gaping mouth. He stood up and hollered at the TV, yelling directions at people who couldn't hear him, and screaming manically when his team fell behind. On the occasions I dared to peak into the room that he consumed, dog toys and other projectiles were being flung through the air, sending me scampering back to the safety of my room with my horse figurines and princess dolls.
This deep-rooted fear of football transformed with age into a loathing of the game. The way people zone out robotically for hours on end, systematically shoveling hot wings down their throats and laughing once they come out the other end—Not only is it downright gross, but the artery-clogging, cholesterol-raising food that goes hand-in-hand with sports viewing can lead to (preventable!) health concerns. Regardless, football is simply unavoidable. Restaurants, bars, the news on TV—football is everywhere. Eating out with friends or family should be about connecting and bonding, not staring at the screen above my head while I'm talking—it drives me to absolute hysterics.
It's bad enough that your friends watch it. It's worse that your spouse watches it. But it absolutely kills you when your spouse wants to entertain during it, which means an abundance of food, noise, and stress. And the stress goes both ways!
Your level of stress skyrockets when you're surrounded by all the immature, "manly" activity—and your husband, and all other viewers, get stressed out if the game doesn't go the way they envisioned. Fans create strong emotional attachments to sports teams, and when their team loses, they react emotionally, letting it affect them just as a real emotional event would. In fact, they can get so worked up during a game that the rate of heart-related deaths actually increases around Super Bowl time! (reference here)
Crazy, right? I thought the unhealthiest part of the Super Bowl was the snack buffet complete with enough beer to fill a small river. But people with a history of blood pressure concerns and other heart disease risk factors are actually cautioned to take it easy during the viewing party. So if you get roped into hosting a party at your home against your will, make sure that healthier snacks are prepared—it's one of the simplest ways to avoid becoming another Super Bowl widow.
If you need some healthy snack ideas: Try hummus instead of ranch dip, corn chips instead of potato chips, mixed nuts instead of Chex Mix, baked chicken tenders instead of fried, and plenty of water to drink alongside beer to stay hydrated.
An array of food will keep your husband and his friends happy, but what about you? Vitamin B12 and lavender oil can have calming, de-stressing effects. (I even like to dab a drop of lavender oil right under my nose before bed.) Make yourself a safe haven in another room, away from the racket and sports announcers' cringe-worthy voices. Dim the lights to the sounds of the ocean and do whatever it is that lets you escape—perhaps a good book or maybe meditation. Find a mental happy place that will pluck you from the actual unhappy place.
And when all else fails, for the large price of being forced to suffer through yet another Super Bowl, it's only fair that your husband agree to accompany you to the theatre, or dancing lessons, or whatever else you simply love that makes him cringe. Just tell him to blame karma!
I've been called a cynic before, so I'd love to know—how do you feel about the Super Bowl?